IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE - Don't Overlook The Obvious

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Always Getting Your Way

Well, at least once, the Rolling Stones had it right: You can't always get what you want. And the fact of the matter is that you shouldn't.

"What?" you call out? "Why shouldn't I? I deserve it!"

Okay. First things first.
The moment someone tells me that they always get what their heart desires from their wife or husband, I know that the truth is undoubtedly 1 of 2 things. - They don't always let their spouse know what it is that they truly desire. Or, if they do and their spouse always complies, then I know that their spouse is holding back some amount of frustration, resentment, anger, or a combination of all 3.

Why can't it simply be that their spouse is simply ultra accommodating because they wish to be? Simply because human nature being what it is... The reality that folks often marry someone who compliments their own personality and style... And the fact that no one is always in the mood to please the other person... I know that except for 'the exception to the rule', it's not going to be true.

And, it shouldn't be.
Why not? - Because there will be times when the moment isn't right. Or, they just can't fake a sincere accommodation. Or, they believe that your request is unreasonable or reckless. Perhaps, your desire rubs them the wrong way. Perhaps you have been bitchy or a jerk and shouldn't be accommodated until you apologize or sincerely change your attitude. And, all of these can be valid reasons for turning you down.

 And, if there is always a 'Yes' to your request, your marriage has issues with communication. Power. And, perhaps fear. (Fear that you would leave them if you do not get everything that you want when you want it.)

So, while I recommend compromise and occasional concessions, I caution you and your spouse about the dangers of always acquiescing to one another's desires. Because at some point in time you will tire of someone who doesn't show any backbone and is a 'Yes' person. Or, because at some point in time, their pent-up feelings will let loose and probably in an overly dramatic fashion. Or, they will leave you. Perhaps, withdraw so much from you that there might be no turning back.

'Nuff said!

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